Fantasy Battles & cool stuff..

The worst STAR WARS toys ever!!

As soon as I saw princess Leia in star wars , she became my object of fantasy for many years, I,m sure the same went for alot of teenage boy star wars fans out there.So I just couldn't wait to get my very own princess Leia star wars figure , I saved hard and finally the day come when I got my very own princess Leia , on closer inspection when I got her home I was confronted by this...Bang went my Fantasy.

Labels: fantasy battles, princess leia, robots, spock vs angel, star wars, star wars funny, worst toys, youtube battle

posted by cooltopten @ 7:17 AM

The Fantasy battle contestants are , angel , spock ,mace windu , jules winnfield ,simon cowell , david hasselhoff , kakihara, gogo yubari.

These are the best of the matchups that you guys have chosen who you would like to see battle it out in a fantasy battle to the bitter end.I must say you guys are getting good at this.All these characters have put their careers on hold for the chance to compete in a fantasy battle just for your entertainment, they have trained hard and are willing and able to open up a jumbo can of whoop ass on there opponent.
so who's it to be, you decide ...

---------------------------------------------------

The sadomasochist

yakuza from Ichi the Killer who enjoys giving and receiving pain in equal measures
KAKIHARA

VS
GOGO YUBARI
A sadistic 17-year old assassin from kill bill.

Labels: american idol, angel, david hasselhoff, fantasy battles, gogo yubari, jedi fight, kakihara, mace windu, pulp fiction, simon cowell, spock, star trek, star wars, vs, youtube battle

posted by cooltopten @ 4:14 AM

fantasy battles STAR WARS funnies

Labels: fantasy battles, fantasybattles, funny, jedi, star wars, Steven Furtick

posted by cooltopten @ 1:55 AM

Vote for your next Fantasy Battle.

FIN FANG FOOM

VS

THE TICK

"He Whose Limbs Shatter Mountains and Whose Back Scrapes the Sun" meets"He Who Shouts Spooooon"

Labels: anime, buffy, chewbacca, fantastic four, fantasy battles, fin fang foom, jayne cobb, manga, naruto, selene underworld, serenity, star wars, teenage mutant ninja turtles, terminator, the tick, warcraft

posted by cooltopten @ 10:10 AM

Yoda vs gollum - Fantasybattles

------------------------YODA VS GOLLUM

-------------------------------------------------+++

Meanwhile in a dark , dank cave not so far away Gollum was busy eating his favourite food ...freshly caught juvenile Orc and raw fish .

" hahaha Stupid stinky Orc ,hehehe stupid stupid baby Orc , throw a rocksees on their heads , then me eats his little legs " Gollum sang to himself as he pulled a Orc leg off and started to gnaw and rip it with his sharp teeth.

Gollum devowerd the juvenile ork , and then started to gnaw on a raw fish head.
" stupid slippery little fishees , gollum comes and eats there brainsees " Gollum sang and giggled as he munched the fish head.

Gollum munched on the fish head as he clambered over the rocks in the cave and made his way out of the entrance of the dark cave and into the woods.

" Always hungry ...poor Gollum .. is always hungry " Gollum said to himself as he picked up a large rock and started to search for more young ork to eat.

He creeped silently through the woods searching and listening for the tell tale snorts of a lost Ork that he could ambush .

" Clever Gollum , clever gollum , you is hunting orcsees , yummy little orcsees " Gollum whispered to himself as he crept through the wood.

Suddenly Gollum stopped and ducked down behind a tree stump , then he slowley rose his head up over the stump , his eyes wide with dissbelief. He had seen the biggest baby orc that he had ever seen , slightly green , and pointy eared , but just sitting there on a rock..

" I sees you stupid orcsees , but you are the biggest fattest greenest orcsees that gollum have every seen "Gollum giggled to himself as he drew his arm back to give that orc a big headshot with the rock.

Gollum launched the rock with all his power at the little green ork, just as the rock was about to make contact , to Gollums utter amazement the ork didnt even open its eyes but just held out its green hand and the rock stopped dead and just hovered infront of its hand .

YODA turned slowly to face the rock assailant with the rock still hovering infront of his hand " Throw rocks will you , when meditating I am " Yoda said in a slightly pissed of voice.

Gollum leaped over the tree stump and charged Yoda letting out a frenzied scream " ARGHHH STUPID FAT LITTLE ORCSEES!!!!! "

Yoda backflipped of off the rock and landed to face Gollum , and with a flick of his wrist used the Jedi Force to propell the rock at Gollums head.

WHAAAACK ......the rock hit Gollum full in the face making his head fly back and his legs fly foreward , resulting in gollum skidding along the ground for a good 10 ft on his ass.

" OOOOOHHH My Ring , My Ring.... " Gollum screeched as he pulled a rather wicked looking twig out of his ass .

Yoda now leapt high into the air completed a tripple tripple front sommersault with a half pike twist and knee tuck thrown in for good measure ,( cause Yoda can be a smart arse like that ) and landed with the gracefullness of a cat straight on Gollums shoulders.

" FAT!! Yoda you Call!! ,a big mistake you make I think " Yoda said as he poked Gollum in both eyes at once.

" ARRRGHHH...My eysess ...You blind Gollum..You stupid orcsees " Gollum screamed and began to shake and writhe around to throw Yoda of off his shoulders. But Yoda clamped his knees around Gollums neck and grabbed both of his ears and rode Gollum like a rodeo rider.

" Stupid Orcsees ...Get off Gollum ..Get off Gollum ..arghh my eyesees and my poor ringsees " Gollum cryed still feeling the previous unfortunate stick penetration trauma he had suffered.

Yoda just rode Gollum all the harder for hearing this." Throw rocks at a Jedi will you, call Yoda FAT will you , Interrupt meditation will you.. learn a lesson now you will " Master Yoda said in an angry voice.

Then suddenly Yoda let out an incredible high pitched squeel , and done a full reverse half pike , twin knee tucked , double front somersault and landed in a heap on the floor holding between his little green legs.

" AHAHAHAH ...clever Gollum...hahah ..clever gollum " Gollum shrieked in a frenzied state.

" heheh , I bitsees your little precious I did with my teethsees " Gollum giggled and laughed to himself."How does the Little stupid Fat orcsees like that "

Yoda,s face turned to pure rage now , he rose up 10 ft of the ground and floated above the frenzied Gollum who was dancing around on the floor rubbing his eyes and ears and checking if there wasn,t anymore sticks embedded in his ass.

" PAY NOW YOU WILL A BIG PRICE !!! , BITE A JEDIS JEWELS WILL YOU " Yoda shouted in a slightly higher pitched voice than normal.

" FUCK YOU UP I WILL , NOW USE THE FORCE WILL I " Yoda closed his eyes and put his fore finger to his temple .

Then without warning Gollum was lifted up by Yodas Jedi force and turned upside down into a pile driver position and was repeatedly smashed into the ground head first .

"Bite a Jedi,s jangelly bits you will no more" Yoda shouted while smashing Gollums head now into a near by tree .

" The pain of Yoda now you will feel " Yoda said regaining his composure then flicked his finger from left to right .

Gollum now fell to the ground in a heap , then his left leg moved fully to the left and his right moved fully to the right so he was now sitting in a splits position, a little hobbit like fart escaped.pfffff

Yoda then pointed at Gollum and Gollum started to skid along the ground on his ass at great speed , collecting many more sticks in his ring as he slid , and then WHACKK , he was slammed crutch first into a rock OOOOFFFFF....

" AWW my precious , my precious " Gollum started to cry and hold between his legs.

"Finished with you I have not" Yoda said as he floated gracefully down to the ground and then gave his Jedi jewels a little rub.

Gollum turned to face Yoda and started to crawl towards him " Please....Please Gollum didnt meen to hurtees you ...Gollum is Good....Gollum is good..Its was a mistaksees ..I didnt meen to hit you with the rock....ummmm It wasnt me.Please little orcsees .PLEASE.... "

Yoda was now standing over the crushed and crying Gollum .Gollum looked up with sad wide eyes" Please dont hurtsees poor Gullum anymore...please "

Yoda looked sympatheticly down at the broken and tearful Gollum " A big stength is forgivness I feel " Master Yoda said in a calming voice" Conflict in you let go you must ,lesson learnt I feel you have had today "

Yoda extended his hand to Gollum to help him up .

" Thankyou..Thankyou ...Gollum is your friend " Gollum said sweetly through his tears.
Gollum held yodas outstretched hand " Gollum is friend " he said wiping the tears from his eyes , then Gollums face tuned from Sweet to Evil in an instant and he jumped up and he sank his teeth into yodas hand .

" FUCKED UP YOU HAVE NOW" Yoda shreiked as he reached to his belt and extended his Lightsaber with lightning reflexeses.

" Know what you're thinking, I do. Only five or six times did I use my lightsaber? In this excitement, to tell you, lost track of it myself I did! But as this is a .45 lightsaber, most powerful lightsaber in the world this is, and would take your head clean off, a question, ask yourself! Do I feel lucky? WELL DO YA, Gollum? " Yoda said in a Dirty harry Jedi kinda way.

" NOW GOLLUM BURGERS YOU WILL BECOME " Yoda screamed as he unleashed a barrage of sickening lightsaber blows on gollum from every angle . ZOOM ... ZIIING ...ZOOM....ZAANG .

it was over.....

" Death is a natural part of life , rejoice for those around you who transform into the force I must, mourn them do not, miss them do not , attachment leads to jealousy , the shadow of greed that is, the path to the dark side it is " Yoda said in a respectfull way as he looked down at his opponant.

Yoda tuned his back on the smoking sizzeling kebab that was Gollum and cocked his leg up and with a little wiggle of his ears let out a Little Jedi fart in the direction of his slain enemy.

" OWNED YOU HAVE BEEN " he said as he walked away coressing his little Jedi jewels.

----------------------------------------------=------The end

Labels: battle, blog, fantasy battles, fantasybattles, fight, funny, gollum, humor, star wars, starwars, superhero, superheroes, yoda, youtube

posted by cooltopten @ 5:23 PM

STAR WARS -Fantasybattle

To keep you guys entertained until Gollum & Yoda get it on , check this video out .

Should Yoda use his lightsaber in this battle?

How do you think the Fantasybattle will go?

Labels: fantasybattles, fight, gollum, jedi, star wars, superhero, yoda, youtube

posted by cooltopten @ 5:34 AM

Fantasybattles EWOKS VS SMURFS

"YIPEE" the crowd exploded into laughs and yells and they all clapped there hands furiously.

Then a silence fell and Nanny Smurf said "Are we all going to have to eat Mushroom now instead of smurfberries?"


Brainy smurf laughed and said" No No Nanny smurf this isn't just a mushroom its a space ship mushroom and we have found a moon way up there that has a forest where smurfberries grow everywhere and you can eat as many smilax leaves as you want!!"

"YIPPEEE , we are all saved" the crowd said at once.


"Hehehe , No its not one of those mushrooms" Brainy smurf giggled and winked at Grouchy.

At 10 past smurf the next day ,everyone was loaded aboard the space mushroom and by 5 to smurf they had arrived on the forest moon of Endor.

They all set to work chopping down trees and making a home for themselves,they worked hard and long until Nanny smurf announced "OK Smurfs and Smurfettes , time for smurf pies and a party!"

All the smurfs where so happy they built a fire and started the party. They sang and laughed and ate as many Smurfberries as they wanted. Brainy smurf felt pleased with himself, he had saved all the smurfs.

"You have done so smurfing well Brainy smurf" Grandpa smurf said slapping Brainy smurf on the back.

"Thank you Grandpa ...Holy smurf that trip on a mushroom was fun , and look at this forest Its wonderful, there's smurfberries everywhere we are going to be so hap ............ ARGHHHHH ......"Brainy smurf was interrupted by a spear hitting him square in the back, he fell to his knees then onto his face.

Little did the smurfs know that they had landed on the outskirts of Bright Tree Village an ewok stronghold and they had chopped down the most sacred tree to the ewoks the tree that all the Ewoks get there Chak from (ancient ewok medicine). Now the Ewoks where pissed off....

A hail of spears and stones rained down on the smurfs from every direction , there was smurf carnage all around. The smurfs started to throw smurfberries at the ewoks , which just pissed the ewoks off even more as the ewok word for the smufberry is the "shooshimk" which translates to the "shit berry" and to even touch ,let alone throw one is a insult the equivalent of shitting in an ewoks slippers in the morning.

The elder ewok screamed at his warriors "ayon puna foooky upy doodop ewok"which translates as "FUCK THEM LITTLE BLUE DUDES UP EWOK WARRIORS"

Labels: endor, ewok, fantasybattles, fight, jedi, smurf, star wars

posted by cooltopten @ 2:50 AM

who,s the sexiest superhero?

Evangeline Lilly ("Lost") was designated "Fantasy Fox,"

Labels: battle, catwomen, darth vader, fantasybattles, fight, horror, princess leia, sexy, star wars, superhero, wonderwomen, xmen

posted by cooltopten @ 3:35 AM

.EVIL VS EVIL..DARTH VADER MEETS HIS MATCH?

LORD Darth Vader, The dark Lord of the Sith was resting in the bowels of the Death Star Battle station contemplating his next move to finally rid the universe of the rebel alliance once and for all. When he sensed someone approaching, he could feel that the answer to eliminate the scourge of the rebels was coming to him.

The the door to his private quarters opened and one of his loyal servants entered "forgive me lord Vader for this interuption but we have found something on the ice-world of Hoth that I think you need to see" the faithfull servant stuttered. Calmly and coldly Lord vader said in a menacing tone "I sense much of the Dark side energy in what you have found, I can feel the power and the terrible destruction, the pain & suffering"

He sensed that whatever they had found could help his cause to crush the rebels. Vader became impatient, he wanted to see the source of this power, he wanted to posses this dark and mysterious object that his loyal troopers had stumbled across on Hoth. Vader ordered his servant to show him what they had found. "right away Lord Vader" the reply came. The servant muttered into his communication device and seconds later the door opened again ,this time five storm troopers entered the quarters, the trooper in the middle of them held within his hands a sealed metal box with two big clasps at either end, he was flanked by two troopers either side of him guns in hand.

They handed the sealed box to the servant then turned and left without a word spoken. "Tell me, how did you come across this object on the Ice-world and why did you think I would be so interested in it that you could disturb me" Vader said in a threatening manner to his loyal servant. The servant held the metal box with out stretched arms towards Vader in a defensive manner, he swallowed hard with the thought that soon he may feel a vice like grip around his throat.

"Well ...umm,Lord Vader our troopers raided a rebel convoy on the Ice-planet of Hoth two days ago, and after the raid, what was left of the rebels retreated into a small cave to the east of the planet, our troopers followed them there to eliminate them, before we entered the cave we sent a surveillance droid to monitor what defenses they had and we recorded them saying that they must destroy or hide this box, because if the darkside got there hands on it and the evil power that it possesed, it could spell the end of the rebel cause for ever." After we raided the cave we could find no trace of this box we had heard the rebel scum discussing. Then we found one rebel who had not been eliminated yet, after many hours of torture he showed us where they had hidden it."

The servant placed the metal box on the console next to vader "We have not yet opened it Lord Vader, all virus & biological scans have been completed on it and it is safe to handle. Will that be all Lord Vader" the servant said as he looked at the box with interest "You have done well" Vader said not even looking up at the servant.The servant turned and walked out of Vaders quarters, taking one last look at the shiny metal box. "Thankyou sir."

Now Lord Vader was alone, he hesitated for a few seconds to behold this evil, dark energy that was emmiting from this box. He slowly unclasped each of the stong metal clasps at either end of the box. A woosh of stail & stagnent air rushed from it as he open the box wide. He now could feel the dark force so strong, so deep, so exquisetly evil. He knew that with this power of this object within this box the days of the rebels where numbered. Lord Vader reached into the box and with his black leather glove and grasped what was inside. It was a small wooden box with an intricate gold pattern inlayed across every surface.

What is the meaning of this he thought , the fools , how can this box be of any use to me.
Then he had such an overwhelming feeling of the dark force ,and absolute intrigue as to the power this small box held.

He ran his index finger over the surface of the box, around the strange symbols. Every inch of this box was emmiting such evil and darkness. Turning the box in his hands over and over searching every inch as if his fingers were being lead systematically over the markings. Then suddenly without warning there was a click and the box fell from Lord Vaders grasp and hit the ground with a thud.

As soon as the box hit the ground it started to change.....










Like a childs puzzle box section after section of the box clicked in and out of place coming back to rest, motionless on the ground as if nothing had changed but Darth knew this box had started something. He could feel the menacing presence, a great evil and forboding.

Vaders thoughts rushed, was this a rebel trap, had he just set the timer to a plasma bomb, had he been betrayed by his own loyal servant? No this was a power too great, greater even than the emporer perhaps?

He took a step backwards, now the dark force was stiffling, the air in the room thick with anticipation, something had changed. He was no longer alone, someone or something was there.

The room grew dark, a deathly silent all consuming dark, the air growing ever colder and a pungent smell of rotting and decomposition filled Darths senses.

A cracking, crunching noise echoed round the walls filling the room, Vader turned to where the noise was eminating. He couldnt believe what he was seeing, the wall to his quarters started to crack and groan letting in a sharp earie light. The walls opened up to reveal a doorway. Within Lord Vader could see the sillouette of a dark figure enshrouded in light, the figure slowley walked forwards. Vader faced the figure taking steady deep breaths, waiting with an excited anticipation to what the outcome of this encounter would be, he reached to his belt and felt his lightsaber.

The strange and mysterious figure walked slowly out of the light and into Lord vaders reality. They both glared at eachother. This cant be happening Lord Vader thought to himself, who or what is this creature.

The figure walked into view now, a hellish figure with pins in his face, it was like hell had come to claim Lord vader for all the suffering he had caused to others.

Lord vader asked "who are you creature and why have you come here"

Pinhead started to laugh an evil laugh " hahaha Hello Anakin, you dont mind me calling you that do you? I,m an explorer in the further regions of experience. A Demon to some. Angel to others, the box you opened it and I came."

"I have such sights to show you Anakin, pain & pleasure will become indivisible. The box is a means to summon me. Now I am here and its time for your suffering to begin."

Lord vaders memories of this name Anakin where buzzing around his head, Lord Vader felt a rage like he had never felt before, he raised his hand and with his finger and thumb began to telekinetically crush this creatures neck. "You have said enough now creature" he said in a determined voice.

Pinhead started to feel the affect of this vice like crushing to his neck, he fell to his knees and clasped his throat. Vader wached, the dark force was rushing through him now, all that was on his mind was to crush this hellish creature who dared to address him in this way.

Then a womens voice rang out, "Anakin NO, please NO, not again, I love you Anakin, why are you doing this? please dont hurt me"

Vader couldnt believe his eyes, what he thought was an evil creature was now a young women. "Please Anakin, dont you recognise me? its me your wife Padmé Amidala."

Vader stunned and surprised released his grip "What ...what ...I.. I.. remember a padme from my dreams" As soon as Vader released his grip on the young womens throat, she stood up "Anakin dont you remember me, please dont hurt me again" she walked closer to Vader "I love you Anakin"

Vader searched his memories, he was battling with himself now, torrments and pain swirled round his head like a whirlwind of suffering, a feeling of regret and sorrow started to surge though his body.

"Thats it Anakin ......you do remember me now dont you.....search your feelings...search them" Then the young wome started to smile "how can you hurt me, I love you so much"

Padme then started to laugh "see you still have human dreams dont you Anakin, Human dreams.........Human dreams such fertile ground for the seeds of torment. You're so ripe Anakin, and now it's harvest time. "

Suddenly the sounds of chains and metal ratteling filled the room, it grew louder and louder and without warning chains with large hooks at the end appeared from the ceiling and the hooks dug deep into Vaders hands and feet pulling him into the air in a crucifix position.

The sweet Padmes face started to change, then all was apparent, Pinhead was now standing there in place of Padme. "You are weaker than you think Anakin, your mind is so naked. A book that yearns to be read. A door that begs to be opened."

"Down the dark decades of your pain, this will seem like a memory of Heaven for you Anakin, now you have a choice. I am offering you a place at my right hand - flesh, power, dominion, we could destroy your foes the jedi, its all just flesh to be sculpted. But you WILL bow down before me."

Vader looked to the left at a large console that sat in the corner of the room and reached out with his mind. It started to shudder and shake then it rose up in a shower of sparks and flew across the room towards pinhead and striking him full in the chest and throwing him back into the doorway from where he had came. The chains shattered that where binding Vader. He then held his hand outreached in the direction of Pinhead a brilliant white light of dark force started to lift pinhead off the ground his legs flayling round under him.

"You have decieved me enough now Demon, I bow down to no one except the emperor himself, your tricks and manpulations of the mind are indeed very powerfull, but now demon you must DIE!!"

Vader moved his arms in a circular motion and Pinhead smashed and crashed into the walls of his quarters sending sparks and halos of white light cascading around the room. Vader then dropped Pinhead to the floor and all fell silent apart from the groans from Pinhead, who was now on his knees trying to recover from the onslaught of dark force that Vader had unleashed on him.

"Now you will feel the pain you enjoy so much demon" Vader walked closer to Pinhead reached to his side and grabbed his lightsaber. He held the humming red lightsaber over the head of Pinhead ready to execute him.

Pinhead smiled and looked up into the face of Lord Vader "It's all a puzzle, isn't it, Anakin? Like a game of chess, perhaps. The pieces move, apparently aimlessly, but always towards one single objective, to kill the king. But who is the king in this game Anakin that is the question you must ask yourself. I can not be defeated in this realm "

"ENOUGH!!" Vader shouted he swung his arm back in a big arc and brought the lightsaber down with such force and hatred for this demon of trickery.

Pinhead layed decapitated on the floor, his vile blood spread across the floor. It was over.

"Anakin Skywalker.....I love you" a young womens voice whispered from behind Vader, Vader spun round but there was nothing there apart from an empty room. He turned back to Pinheads body but it had gone and so had the doorway.

The little puzzle box sat innocently on the floor in place of Pinheads body.....

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- THE END

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Labels: darth vader, fantasybattles, hellraiser, jedi, lightsaber, pinhead, star wars

posted by cooltopten @ 5:11 AM