Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The Best amateur Lightsaber battle on the web.

Well guys as you know I,m a massive sci -fi geek and I have been looking forward to this hotly-anticipated sequel to the original YouTube phenomenon of Ryan vs Dorkman,s lightsaber battle for a while now.The first video these two star wars fans made really blew the youtube and star wars communities away with its superb special effects of the lightsabers and the really well choreographed battle itself.Both Ryan and Dorkman first released there video on the star wars forums , then it got Posted on YouTube and the rest is history.If you thought the first video was well done , well You ain't seen nothing yet.So sit back , relax and be prepared to be amazed at this the Brand new Ryan vs Dorkman 2 lightsaber battle (RvD2).

Wasn't that cool? Well if you still have an appetite for more lightsaber duels with these two guys then Here is the first lightsaber battle they ever did.

So Fantasy Battle fans Its nearly that time again when we have to choose the next victims (I mean contestants) to step into the Fantasy Battle Arena.So while my demented troop of space monkeys scan the sci -fi / comic book / star wars / horror regions of the universe looking for some worthy contestants to battle it out until the bitter end.who would you guys like to see step into the fantasy battle arena? .

The short list of the contestants will be with you very soon , then you guys can vote on what matchup you would like to see.Until then , go on get involved put forward your favourite character in a fantasy battle and well see how it goes.
If you are a new Vistor to fantasy battles and are wondering what the hell is this jibbering fool talking about fantasy battles then click a few of the previous battles on the sidebar under THE FANTASY BATTLES to check them out.

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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Dracula vs The ghostbusters by fantasy battles


It was just another day in the New york headquarters of Ghostbusters inc. The phone was ringing off the hook with worried citizens needing supernatural entities, ghosts and all manner of paranormal activities investigating. Venkman was laid back in his chair flicking peanuts at Egon,s head.

The phone nearest to venkman started to ring, Venkman just layed back even more in his chair and intensified the peanut attacks on Egons head. "Hey guys the phone is ringing, do you think I should answer it?" Venkman chuckled to himself .

"Just get the dam phone, you know our secretary is ill today." Ray said as he glared at Venkman.

"Ok, keep ya knickers on, geez..." Venkman lifted the receiver. "Hello Dr Peter Venkman speaking, no ghost too big or too smal for us to bust their see through asses."

" Peter , Peter!" a womens voice said in a rather alarmed state. "Its Dana Barrett here, you remeber the whole bed levitation thing and Gozer and his minions in my appartment?"

"Hey there sweety pie, of course I remeber you, man once you see a girl levitate in a see through night gown and talk all dity like you did, it kinda stays with a guy if you know what I mean." Venkman whispered in a sleazy way as he checked to see if anyone was listening.

"So whats up babe, you finally wanna go on that date with me?" Venkman said as he flicked his last peanut into the air and caught it in his mouth.

" Please listen to me Peter I've got a big problem I need you guys to come over at once, something is here with ........BEEEP........ " the phone went dead.

"OK guys, I think we got one, remember Dana and that whole Gozer incident, well its sounds like something is back and bothering my gilrfiend to be, LETS GO!!!"

The team jumped into a well rehersed action, Venkman , Egon , Ray and Winston ran to the firemans pole and they all slid down one after the other. Ray and egon grabbed the proton packs off of the chargers and Winston jumped into Ecto -1 and started the engine. The team was ready to go.

"God I love this Job. Lets go boys!" Venkman screamed as Winston started the Sirens and wheel spun out of the garage and onto the street.

Winston weaved in and out of the traffic with great skill as Venkman and Ray waved to all the chicks as they sped past. "Hey Winston stick that Cd on to get me in the mood for Ghost butt kicking." Vekmon said as he leaned over into the front and slapped Winston on the shoulder.

"You got it!" Winston said as he pushed play on the cd.

The music started , and all the guys sang along. "
If there's something strange in your neighborhood Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!
If there's something weird and it don't look good Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!
I ain't afraid of no ghost.
I ain't afraid of no ghost.
If you're seeing things running through your head.
Who can you call? Ghostbusters!
An invisible man sleeping in your bed.
Oh, who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!

"EMM hey Venkman, by the way where the hell are we going?" Winston shouted.
"To Danas apartment dude, I love this job!!!" Venkman screamed and then stuck his head out the window and screamed "Who ya gonna call...Ghostbusters !!!"

Before the song had ended the team were at their destination, the guys jumped out grabbed the proton packs and ran into the lobby of the apartement building.

"Twenty third floor guys." Ray calmly annouced as they stepped into the elavator.

"Ok guys, power up your packs, remember last time we entered this apartment what we found, so keep alert." Egon said in a slightly worried tone.

The proten packs all powered up with a loud humming and whirring sound.

The team of Ghostbusters assembled outside of Danas door room 516, "Ready guys, have you got the trap?" Egon said as he looked at Ray.

"Got it dude."

"Now lets get whoever or whatever has been hitting on my girlfriend to be."
Venkman said turning to the door.

Egon knocked on the door, "Hello?" There was no answer ..

Venkman kicked the door and it flung open, inside the room it was dark and all the blinds had been pulled down and there was a deathly silence that filled the room. "Hello, anybody home?" Venkman said as he entered and searched the apartment, he got to the bedroom which was the last place to be searched and opened the door. "Hello, honey I,m home."
Dana walked to the door " You are not my Master " she whispered and returned to her bed.
There on the bed Dana was laying just staring at the ceiling, Venkman ran over to the bed and shook Dana " Hey, you ok?" Dana,s eyes slowly turned to stare deep into Venkmans eyes.
"Yes ....I am fine, now leave me, my Master will not appreciate you being here."

"Your master? Hey baby your acting kinda funny, who,s your master?"

As Dana turned away from Venkman, he noticed what looked like two punture wounds on her neck. "Hey babe, whats that on your neck, you cut yourself shaving again." Venkman joked.

Just then the rest of the Team came into the room. "Whats the story Venkman?" Egon enquired.

"I,m not too sure, check out her neck its like a vampire has been here. Hey hey Buddy just her neck." Venkman shouted as he saw Egon take a sneeky look down her top.

"Very interesting, we havent come across Vampire activity here in New york before, search the place good." Egon said as the scanned the room.

"Ya and if you guys see some long tooth mother fucker whos been getting fresh with my chick, FRAG HIS ASS!" Venkman shouted as he pulled the Proton gun from his backpack.

Suddenly without warning from through an open window a bat flew in and flew around the room as if to check everyone out, then there was a puff of smoke and there standing dressed in a black cape was Dracula. "Haaa haaaa haaa Welcome to my feast gentlemen, you are all very welcome to indulge yourselves in the blood and flesh of my new wife DANACULA. You will find her very sweet."

"Danacula !!!! Your tripping dude, now hold on a minute thats Dana and shes as good as my girlfriend, I,m the only dude round here thats gonna indulge myself with her. You've overstepped the mark big time now, coming in here with ya pasty white face and ya wierd accent and ya bat changing tricks." Venkman said as he stepped towards Dracula.

"AHH spirited human, I see you wish to duel for her do you mortal."

"Dual, I,m just gonna give you a good old fashioned New Yorks finest ass kicking." Venkman shouted as he swung for Dracula.

Dracula opened his cape and flew backwards over the bed avoiding Venkmans punch and landed astride Dana. "You Feeble mortal, Danacula is now part of me and me part of her."

"FRAG HIS ASS!!!" Ray shouted and he aimed and pulled the trigger on his proton pack.

With lightening reflexes Dracula changed back into a bat, Ray chased the bat all over the room with the Proton steam leaving massive scorch marks all across the ceiling and walls. Dracula flew out of the bedroom and into the Kitchen where he changed back into his human form.

"MWUAHAHAHA, You stupid mortal you couldnt hit a Rhino up the ass with a bazooka, your such a poor shot." Dracula laughed at the Ghostbusters.

Just then 'BOINNNGGG' a frying pan smacked Dracula right in the side of the head .
"What was that about bad shots?" Venkman laughed as he fired his proton pack directly at Dracula. "IVE GOT HIM GUYS!!"

Venkman had caught Dracula in the Proton stream and was holding him up off of the floor. "Hey guys, a little help please!" he shouted.
Dracula was struggeling and thrashing about trying to escape the stream of the proton pack. Just then Egon and Ray hit him with there proton streams, whammm."Winston get the trap and lets get rid of this blood sucka fucka once and for all." Venkman screamed.

Dracula was now screaming and thrashing about like hell now, he changed into a bat again, then back into his human form, the Ghostbuster had a hard time keeping the Proton streams fixed on him and trying not to cross the streams.

"HERES THE TRAP GUYS." Winston screamed as he threw the trap out underneath the thrashing Dracula. "READY ...ONE ...TWO...THREE AND GOOO!!!!"

The trap opened, engulfing Dracula in a shaft of bright light and electricity. Then it started to suck Dracula into it, first his legs then his body. Dracula let out one last Scream and he was gone... The trap closed and the guys stopped there Proton streams and all fell to the floor.

"WAHOOOOO! Suck on that you buck tooth freak, that,ll teach ya to mess with my girl." Venkman screamed as he punched the air.

"Wow that was pretty easy, I thought Dracula could only be killed with garlic and holy water." Ray said nervously "Well I guess that just goes to show not to believe all you see in the movies."

Just then the trap started to rumble and shake, the trap doors flew open and a shaft of light streaked upwards towards the ceiling and with a loud "Woosh", DRACULA started to immerge from the trap. He rose up until he was floating in the middle of the room. "You fools, No mortal binds can enslave me, you fools now you will all become my children."

Dracula flew at Venkman and grabbed his face in his hands, Venkman fell back onto the floor. Dracula went in for the neck bite the rest of the team ran to help Venkman who now was fighting for his life. Egon grabbed Draculas shoulder, "SMACK." Dracula swatted him away like a fly, Egon flew back into the table and chairs with a crash. Ray and Winston grabbed Draculas head to try and stop the neck bite but it was too late Dracula sanks his long white teeth into Venkman's neck.

Venkman let out a groan and gasped. "I hate hickies." Then fell lifeless. Now Dracula grabbed the hands of both Ray and Winston and started to crush them. Draculas strength was immense. Both Ray and Winston screamed in pain as their hands started to crack and crunch.

Dracula shoved both Ray and Winston at the same time and they flew like rag dolls, crashing into the sink unit in a shower of broken china and glasses.

Dracula walked slowly over to Ray and picked him up by the neck lifting him high into the air.
"You mortals make me sick, with your love of sunshine and your fear of the Darkness." Dracula said as he began to crush Rays throat.

Just then Egon crawled over to where winston was lying. "Hey winston I have an idea, you distract Dracula and I,m gonna try something."

"Ok dude, I hope you know what your doing though." Winston whispered as he wiped a drop of blood away from his mouth.

"Pass me your proton pack Winston." Egon said as he checked his proton pack. "Now distract dracula and get him away from Ray..Hurry."

Winston stood up "Hey Bat breath, over here." Winston screamed as he waved his arms.

Dracual turned and stared at Winston. "WAIT your turn Mortal, I've nearly crushed the life from your friend."

"Hey Dracula, you is one Ugly mother fucker, you know that. I heard that bat's shit on there own head while they sleep so that must make you the Biggest shit head in New York."

Dracula snarled at Winston and released Ray from his vice like grip. Ray dropped to the ground gasping for breath.

"Hey so if you is a shit head, maybe that smell round here aint your bat breath, its your own shit on your head mother fucka ... yeh thats right bitch you stink of shit and really a bats just a rat with wings, so you is a shit smelling, bat breath, rat mother fucka freak." Winston shouted as he backed away from Dracula.

Dracula hissed and snarled at Winston. "How dare you insult me, I am a count and Immortal."

Winston picked up a chair leg and thew it at Dracula hitting him in the chest. "You say you're a count, you dont even look like you CAN count you freaking retard." Winston screamed as he picked up another chair leg.

"Winston hit the deck!!!" Egon shouted as he powered up two proton packs and let the streams rip , Egon turned the two streams so that they made a Huge cross , a crusifix shape and held them in front of Dracula. "How'd you like that?"

"ARGHHHHHH!!" Dracula screamed in torment as the crusifix grew brighter and brighter. Dracula started to steam and his features began to melt. "ARGHHHHHH, make it stop I will grant you eternal life."

"I,d rather be mortal than have an eternity shitty on my own head and giving boys hickies you blood sucking scumbag." Ray screamed and with that Egon pushed the two proton streams hard into Draculas face.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Dracula screamed as he melted and bubbled into a bloody mess on the Kitchen floor.

As soon as Dracula had been defeated Venkman and Dana where released from his spell.

Venkman opened his eyes and saw the Bloody mess on the Kitchen floor. "Dam I dont know my own strength when I,m mad!!!!"

-------------------------------------------THE END

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

fantasy battles STAR WARS funnies

Well guys the next Fantasy battle will be DRACULA VS GHOSTBUSTERS as voted for by you guys.So while I get a troop of demented monkeys to get to work on writing this fantasy battle which will be ready in a couple of days ,here's some funny star wars stuff I found on the web to keep you entertained until then.First up we have GAY VADER & ELVIS TROOPER , I wonder who would win in a fantasy battle between these too.

Also here's the top ten star wars quotes with the word pants added , I just love this .
I find your lack of pants disturbing.
You are unwise to lower your pants.
Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
The Force is strong in my pants.
Your pants, you will not need them.
You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.
I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
In his pants you will find a new definition of pain and suffering
Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's pants.
I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your pants.

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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Fantasy Battles .Who would you like to see battle it out until the bitter end?

Welcome back to Fantasy Battles
I,m Glad you guys enjoyed Buffy vs Selene.(I had fun writing that one ) .If you are new to Fantasy battles check out some of the previous battles by clicking THE FANTASY BATTLES buttons on the sidebar to get an idea of the what goes on here.(enjoy).
Well its time for the next Contestants to prove there worth and step into the fantasy battle arena to battle it out until the bitter end.Remember you guys decide on the Battle you most want to see.If you can imagine a matchup suggest it in my comments and the most popular will be the fantasy battle you will see , however weird or wonderful it is.Here are just a few suggestions who dared to enter the fantasy battle arena to await your decisions.

Illidan Stormrage
(Warcraft character also known as Illidan the Betrayer)
Illidan is very powerful .He was, at one time, a member of the Night Elf race and is one of their most ancient, influential and infamous figures in Warcraft.
(from Legend)
Darkness is also a very powerful demon who featured in the 80,s movie Legend .He closely resembles Satan .

Bruce Lee
(Full name Bruce Jun Fan Lee)
One of the most famous martial artist of the 20th century
( from Mortal Kombat)
The eternal god of thunder and protector of Earthrealm

Ichigo Kurosaki (from manga & anime series bleach)
Ichigo Protects society from Hollows(soul-devouring evil ghosts)
(from manga & anime Dragon Ball Z)
Vegeta is the Prince of the near extinct Saiyan race

parapsychology professors who arm themselves with Proton packs to kick Ghosts asses.
The most well known and powerful bloodsucking vampire .

So guys now its up to you
If your favourite character isn't here and you would like to see them battle it out in the fantasy battle arena then just leave the battle you do want to see in my comments and if people agree that that would be a kick ass funny , fantasy battle , that's the fantasy battle that will be featured here in a day or two also let me know how you think the above battles would go.

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