Optimus Prime (Transformers) VS The Power Rangers - Fantasy Battles
OPTIMUS PRIME -----VS ------THE POWER RANGERS 

------------------------------------------------------"Optimus prime ? Transformers ? , autobots ? " Ive never heard of them tommy said to Adam as they walked through the car breakers yard.
"Well Rocky .......All I know is billy and Aisha said that they came here looking for a car for Billys grandma and they come across a massive Robot who called himself optimus prime who warned them to stay out of his buissness and something about he was looking for Decepticons that where using the breakers Yard as a base ."
"Man , I dont know what them guys are on , but If they are not joking this could be really serious, lets keep an eye out for anything unusual while we are looking for a car for billys Grandma "
Just then a salesman walked over to Tommy and Adam " howdy there partners , what can I do for you guys on this lovley day "
"Hi there , well we are looking for a cheap car for one of my friends Grandma" Adam said as he looked around the Yard
The salesman shook both there hands "You just may be in luck there boys , come this way and I,ll show ya what we got "
As Adam and Tommy followed the salesman , they heard a powerful voice say " REMEMBER STAY OUT OF MY BUISSNESS "
" What the hell was that ? , it sounded like it came from over there" Adam said to Tommy as they walked in the direction of where the voice had come from.
They came to a large Red truck that was parked in the yard.
"It sounded like it came from this truck Tommy laughed as he kicked the wheel of the truck"
"MOVE AWAY FROM ME KIDS " a voice boomed out from the truck
Tommy and Adam jumped back from the truck " What the hell !!! , this this truck just talked to us " Adam said as he stared in disbelief at Tommy.
"THATS RIGHT I TALK , NOW MOVE AWAY I,M CLOSE TO FINDING MEGATRON AND HE MUST BE DESTROYED NO MATTER THE COST"
Adam walked closer to the red truck"What the hell did you say!! , you aint gonna destroy no one or nothing on our patch, right Tommy?"
"Right Adam , Now who the Hell are you " Tommy shouted as he punched the door of the truck.
"You aint gonna destroy nothing around here , who is Megatron and more importantly who or what the hell are you? " Tommy growled as once again he kicked the wheel of the truck.
"I AM OPTIMUS PRIME THE LEADER OF THE AUTOBOTS I AM FROM THE PLANET CYBERTRON , I BATTLE THE EVIL FORCES OF THE DECEPTICONS,KEEPING THE EARTH AND OUR HOMELAND PEACEFULL AND THUS THE UNIVERSE AT PEACE TOO.NOW LEAVE THIS AREA AND DO NOT STAND IN MY WAY."
Adam looked at Tommy "You will not battle or destroy anyone here on earth as we keep the peace here , we dont want to fight you , but if you keep up this aggressive attitude we will have to teach you a lesson"
There was a rumble from the red truck"ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU WILL PROTECT MEGATRON? "
"hell yeah , we will protect anyone from harm" Tommy shouted in defiance as he punched the air.
There was a loud whiring noise that started up from the truck "I AM A PROTECTOR OF ALL LIFE , BUT IF YOU INTERFERE WITH MY BATTLE AGAINST MEGATRON AND THE DECEPTICONS, THEN I WILL HAVE TO COUNT YOUR LIVES AS COLLATORAL DAMAGE TO SAVE HUMANITY AND THE UNIVERSE"
Tommy and Adam jumped back from the truck and both fell into a Ninjetti stance ready to fight.
"Look Optimus , we will fight you if you threaten us , and to be honest I think you would be wise to reconsider before fighting us, after all you are just a truck and we are mighty power rangers" Tommy said in a firm voice
Just then the sales man walked over " Hey guys so you interested in buying this truck, to be honest I havent seen it here before , but It must be new stock"
" No way we are going to teach this bully of a truck a lesson he will never forget" tommy shouted
The salesman walked over to the truck , " guys...guys... calm down , your talking like this truck is alive or something" the salesman said as he patted the truck.
"so you wanna buy......................"the salesman was interupted by this...........
Optimus prime transformed and rose up to stand high above the Adam and Tommy , he walked a few paces away shaking the ground as he went then turned and fired a stun ray at the salesman freezing him mid sentence.Then he turned and grabbed a car from the ground and threw it at Tommy and Adam as a warning shot.The car crashed infront of the tommy and adam and exploded into flames,throwing them both back with the force of the blast.
"SO ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO PROTECT MEGATRON?"optimus boomed as he activated his thrusters and hovered 50 ft above the ground in a shower of sparks and electricity.
"Hell yeah , lets get this battle going " both tommy and adam screamed as they got back to there feet.
Tommy pressed his emergency rangers button on his wrist band to summon the rest of the power rangers to the battle.
Optimus prime hovered over the teenagers "ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE YOURSELVES JUST TO PROTECT MEGATRON ?, FREEDOM IS THE RIGHT OF ALL SENTIENT BEINGS , NO SACRIFICE IS TO GREAT IN THE SERVICE OF FREEDOM ....INCLUDING YOU!!"
Tommy stood firm and looked up at optimus"We will protect anyone from harm"
Just then the rest of the rangers screeched up in a car and joined there friends. They stood shoulder to shoulder in a line underneath optimus.
"Lets do this " Tommy shouted ....
The heroic team morphed into the power rangers in a haze of flashing lights and crappy 1980,s cheesy effects.Then began to sommersault and backflip and pose in there shiny coloured suits.
Optimus prime rose up high into the sky "THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.. WALK AWAY OR GET CARRIED AWAY"
The power rangers carried on posing and swatting the air and kicking with there ninjetti moves shouting some nonsense about mighty Morphing power rangers.
Then Optimus prime swooped down and grabbed tommy the white ranger by the foot and dragged him back up into the air and held him upside down .
"DAM YOU POWER RANGERS ARE SUCH ANNOYING FAGGOTS, TIME TO BE CRUSHED!!"
Optimus grabbed Tommys head in one hand and his feet in the other and pulled him apart infront of the other power rangers , a shower of blood and White shiny suite fell to the ground all around the remaining rangers.
Then optimus threw both sections of tommy behind him like a crappy 80,s old toy that your really bored with.
The remaining Power Rangers back flipped and sommersaulted there way out of the danger area landing on top of a building nearby.Optimus swooped down again from the sky and landed with both feet on the building crushing it to rubble, all the power rangers sommersaulted out of harms way at the last moment, adam took his opportunity and ran up and done a powerful flying kick to optimus ,s head section.
Optimus stumbled back a little with the force of the blow , Adam landed with all the gracefullness of a cat and began to ninjetti chop and kick the air , then stood still in a gay Power ranger pose .Optimus then jumped from the rubble of the building and landed astride Adam.
Adam then produced his Zeo Laser Pistol and blasted 4 accurate shots into Optimus,s face.Optimus brushed some flaked paint work of this his face "WHY THANKYOU FOR THAT , I HAD AN ANNOYING ITCH THERE , NOW ITS TIME FOR YOU TO MEET YOUR MAKER" Adam began to run , Optimus held aloft his right hand and it began to retract , a loud humming sound then filled the air.Now in place of the robotic hand was a huge glowing energon axe.With a blast of his trusters optimus landed infront of Adam smashing the concerete on landing , Adam jumped high into the air to avoid the swipe of the energon axe, but it was futile , Optimus was a killing machine and every move he made was calculated and worked out to the nearest millimeter.The energon axe cut Adam in two like a knife through butter while he was in the air. Before the two smoking pieces of adam had hit the floor Optimus ,s focus was already on the remaining Rangers.Optimus used his power thrusters to blast high into the sky to track where his prey had now run too,he scanned the area with his heat source eye filters and found the group of rangers sheltering behind a pile of crushed cars,Optimus,s radar hearing could pick up what they where saying, they had a plan to change into there respected Zords.Optimus could see them starting to morph.Optimus Prime blasted down to where the rangers where hiding and smashed his energon axe into the ground creating a massive energon wave that made the ground ripple and flame , this had the effect of an earth quake but with blasts of energon waves pulsing through his victims bodys which threw the power rangers like rag dolls in every direction.
Opimus prime scanned the area and recorded the whereabouts of every power ranger , some had flown into nearby trees and were hanging in the branches and some lay dazed and confused on the floor."YOU CHOSE YOUR DESTINY THE MOMENT YOU SAID YOU WOULD PROTECT MEGATRON AND HIS EVIL FOLLOWERS, NO ZOIDS CAN SAVE YOU NOW ....PREPARE FOR ANNIYALATION"Optimus boomedThe car breakers yard now looked more like an power rangers breakers yard for dicarded and annoying Power ranger merchandise .The rangers lay moaning and stumbeling about in a daze from the huge Energon wave that had passed through there bodys.The remaining Power rangers tried to escape and beg for mercy , but Optimus had no mercy for these fake hero , posing pussies of power rangers."NOW MORPH INTO CONCERETEZIODS " Optimus boomed in a loud voice as he raised his feet and stomped the remaining Powers rangers into the concerete like bugs.The last Power ranger left was Kimberly who was crying like a baby clinging to a branch of a tree in her Pink lycra suite, looking like a discarded condom.Optimus stomped over to her and pulled her from the tree , he stuck his thumb into the coller of her lyrca suite and with the other hand grabbed the legs of the lyrca suite and began to stretch her suite like an huge pink elastic band , then he let go of her feet and pinged her hundreds of feet into the air , as she was falling back to the ground Optimus launched a plasma rocked and exploded her in the air like a power ranger clay pidgeon.It was over , the Power rangers or what was left of them lay scattered around the Breakers yard,Optimus stomped over to the innocent salesmen who was still frozen from optimus,s stun ray and released him from the ray with a reversal beam.The salesman looked around him "What the hell happened to my customers!!!!"Optimus glared down at the sales man and said "WELL SOME HAD TO HIT THE ROAD......AND SOME HAD TO FLY "Optimus laughed to himself and then blasted off into the blue sky....The end
Labels: fantasy battles, funny, michael bay, myspace, optimus prime, power rangers, transformers 7.4.7, transformers movie, youtube
fantasy battles STAR WARS funnies

Well guys the next Fantasy battle will be DRACULA VS GHOSTBUSTERS as voted for by you guys.So while I get a troop of demented monkeys to get to work on writing this fantasy battle which will be ready in a couple of days ,here's some funny star wars stuff I found on the web to keep you entertained until then.First up we have GAY VADER & ELVIS TROOPER , I wonder who would win in a fantasy battle between these too.
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Also here's the top ten star wars quotes with the word pants added , I just love this .
I find your lack of pants disturbing.
You are unwise to lower your pants.
Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
The Force is strong in my pants.
Your pants, you will not need them.
You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.
I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
In his pants you will find a new definition of pain and suffering
Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's pants.
I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your pants.
Labels: fantasy battles, fantasybattles, funny, jedi, star wars, Steven Furtick
Yoda vs gollum - Fantasybattles
Proudly Presents
------------------------YODA VS GOLLUM

The space cruisers doors opened with a woosh and a voice rang out " Well here we are Master , the Misty Mountains of Rhovanion , Enjoy your stay here Master Yoda We will pick you up in two days " The cruiser pilot shouted as Master Yoda walked slowly down the ramp .
" here nice it is , Meditation easy to find me thinks "Yoda said to himself as he gestured to the cruiser pilot with a wave.
Yoda turned his back on the space cruiser and pulled his hood up to protect him from the debris as the cruiser lifted up and then shot off into the sky with a roar.
Yoda watched as the space cruiser disappeared from view and the roar of the engines faded away.
"Feel the Force here I must "Yoda said as he walked over to a solitary rock , climed up and then sat crossed legged to become acquainted with the force of his surroundings.
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Meanwhile in a dark , dank cave not so far away Gollum was busy eating his favourite food ...freshly caught juvenile Orc and raw fish .
" hahaha Stupid stinky Orc ,hehehe stupid stupid baby Orc , throw a rocksees on their heads , then me eats his little legs " Gollum sang to himself as he pulled a Orc leg off and started to gnaw and rip it with his sharp teeth.
Gollum devowerd the juvenile ork , and then started to gnaw on a raw fish head.
" stupid slippery little fishees , gollum comes and eats there brainsees " Gollum sang and giggled as he munched the fish head.
Gollum munched on the fish head as he clambered over the rocks in the cave and made his way out of the entrance of the dark cave and into the woods.
" Always hungry ...poor Gollum .. is always hungry " Gollum said to himself as he picked up a large rock and started to search for more young ork to eat.
He creeped silently through the woods searching and listening for the tell tale snorts of a lost Ork that he could ambush .
" Clever Gollum , clever gollum , you is hunting orcsees , yummy little orcsees " Gollum whispered to himself as he crept through the wood.
Suddenly Gollum stopped and ducked down behind a tree stump , then he slowley rose his head up over the stump , his eyes wide with dissbelief. He had seen the biggest baby orc that he had ever seen , slightly green , and pointy eared , but just sitting there on a rock..

" I sees you stupid orcsees , but you are the biggest fattest greenest orcsees that gollum have every seen "Gollum giggled to himself as he drew his arm back to give that orc a big headshot with the rock.
Gollum launched the rock with all his power at the little green ork, just as the rock was about to make contact , to Gollums utter amazement the ork didnt even open its eyes but just held out its green hand and the rock stopped dead and just hovered infront of its hand .
YODA turned slowly to face the rock assailant with the rock still hovering infront of his hand " Throw rocks will you , when meditating I am " Yoda said in a slightly pissed of voice.
Gollum leaped over the tree stump and charged Yoda letting out a frenzied scream " ARGHHH STUPID FAT LITTLE ORCSEES!!!!! "
Yoda backflipped of off the rock and landed to face Gollum , and with a flick of his wrist used the Jedi Force to propell the rock at Gollums head.
WHAAAACK ......the rock hit Gollum full in the face making his head fly back and his legs fly foreward , resulting in gollum skidding along the ground for a good 10 ft on his ass.
" OOOOOHHH My Ring , My Ring.... " Gollum screeched as he pulled a rather wicked looking twig out of his ass .
Yoda now leapt high into the air completed a tripple tripple front sommersault with a half pike twist and knee tuck thrown in for good measure ,( cause Yoda can be a smart arse like that ) and landed with the gracefullness of a cat straight on Gollums shoulders.
" FAT!! Yoda you Call!! ,a big mistake you make I think " Yoda said as he poked Gollum in both eyes at once.
" ARRRGHHH...My eysess ...You blind Gollum..You stupid orcsees " Gollum screamed and began to shake and writhe around to throw Yoda of off his shoulders. But Yoda clamped his knees around Gollums neck and grabbed both of his ears and rode Gollum like a rodeo rider.
" Stupid Orcsees ...Get off Gollum ..Get off Gollum ..arghh my eyesees and my poor ringsees " Gollum cryed still feeling the previous unfortunate stick penetration trauma he had suffered.
Yoda just rode Gollum all the harder for hearing this." Throw rocks at a Jedi will you, call Yoda FAT will you , Interrupt meditation will you.. learn a lesson now you will " Master Yoda said in an angry voice.
Then suddenly Yoda let out an incredible high pitched squeel , and done a full reverse half pike , twin knee tucked , double front somersault and landed in a heap on the floor holding between his little green legs.

" AHAHAHAH ...clever Gollum...hahah ..clever gollum " Gollum shrieked in a frenzied state.
" heheh , I bitsees your little precious I did with my teethsees " Gollum giggled and laughed to himself."How does the Little stupid Fat orcsees like that "
Yoda,s face turned to pure rage now , he rose up 10 ft of the ground and floated above the frenzied Gollum who was dancing around on the floor rubbing his eyes and ears and checking if there wasn,t anymore sticks embedded in his ass.
" PAY NOW YOU WILL A BIG PRICE !!! , BITE A JEDIS JEWELS WILL YOU " Yoda shouted in a slightly higher pitched voice than normal.
" FUCK YOU UP I WILL , NOW USE THE FORCE WILL I " Yoda closed his eyes and put his fore finger to his temple .
Then without warning Gollum was lifted up by Yodas Jedi force and turned upside down into a pile driver position and was repeatedly smashed into the ground head first .
"Bite a Jedi,s jangelly bits you will no more" Yoda shouted while smashing Gollums head now into a near by tree .
" The pain of Yoda now you will feel " Yoda said regaining his composure then flicked his finger from left to right .
Gollum now fell to the ground in a heap , then his left leg moved fully to the left and his right moved fully to the right so he was now sitting in a splits position, a little hobbit like fart escaped.pfffff
Yoda then pointed at Gollum and Gollum started to skid along the ground on his ass at great speed , collecting many more sticks in his ring as he slid , and then WHACKK , he was slammed crutch first into a rock OOOOFFFFF....
" AWW my precious , my precious " Gollum started to cry and hold between his legs.
"Finished with you I have not" Yoda said as he floated gracefully down to the ground and then gave his Jedi jewels a little rub.
Gollum turned to face Yoda and started to crawl towards him " Please....Please Gollum didnt meen to hurtees you ...Gollum is Good....Gollum is good..Its was a mistaksees ..I didnt meen to hit you with the rock....ummmm It wasnt me.Please little orcsees .PLEASE.... "
Yoda was now standing over the crushed and crying Gollum .Gollum looked up with sad wide eyes" Please dont hurtsees poor Gullum anymore...please "

Yoda looked sympatheticly down at the broken and tearful Gollum " A big stength is forgivness I feel " Master Yoda said in a calming voice" Conflict in you let go you must ,lesson learnt I feel you have had today "
Yoda extended his hand to Gollum to help him up .
" Thankyou..Thankyou ...Gollum is your friend " Gollum said sweetly through his tears.
Gollum held yodas outstretched hand " Gollum is friend " he said wiping the tears from his eyes , then Gollums face tuned from Sweet to Evil in an instant and he
jumped up and he sank his teeth into yodas hand .
" ARGHHHHH " yoda screamed
" FUCKED UP YOU HAVE NOW" Yoda shreiked as he reached to his belt and extended his Lightsaber with lightning reflexeses.

" Know what you're thinking, I do. Only five or six times did I use my lightsaber? In this excitement, to tell you, lost track of it myself I did! But as this is a .45 lightsaber, most powerful lightsaber in the world this is, and would take your head clean off, a question, ask yourself! Do I feel lucky? WELL DO YA, Gollum? " Yoda said in a Dirty harry Jedi kinda way.
" NOW GOLLUM BURGERS YOU WILL BECOME " Yoda screamed as he unleashed a barrage of sickening lightsaber blows on gollum from every angle . ZOOM ... ZIIING ...ZOOM....ZAANG .
it was over.....
" Death is a natural part of life , rejoice for those around you who transform into the force I must, mourn them do not, miss them do not , attachment leads to jealousy , the shadow of greed that is, the path to the dark side it is " Yoda said in a respectfull way as he looked down at his opponant.
Yoda tuned his back on the smoking sizzeling kebab that was Gollum and cocked his leg up and with a little wiggle of his ears let out a Little Jedi fart in the direction of his slain enemy.
" OWNED YOU HAVE BEEN " he said as he walked away coressing his little Jedi jewels.
----------------------------------------------=------The endLabels: battle, blog, fantasy battles, fantasybattles, fight, funny, gollum, humor, star wars, starwars, superhero, superheroes, yoda, youtube