Friday, February 09, 2007

Fantasybattles EWOKS VS SMURFS

EWOKS ------- VS ------ --- SMURFS

"My fellow smurfs I have gathered you here today to give you some good news and some bad news. " Papa Smurf announced to the gathered group of smurfs.

"Oh I knew it ,tell us the bad news first papa." Grouchy Smurf said in a pessimistic grouchy way.

"Well the bad news is that here in the woods we have been so greedy that we have nearly eaten all the smilax leaves and smurfberries, we only have enough left for maybe 2 more days." Papa smurf said looking at the floor and playing with his beard.

"OHH SMURF IT" The group of gathered smurfs said in unison. A panicked chatter broke out between the group , and the little Smurflings started to cry.

"Don't you all want to know the good news?" Papa said eagerly. "Well the good news is that we knew that this would happen so Brainy Smurf and Grandpa Smurf have been smurfing away and built something really special that will help us. "

"Follow me smurfs" Papa smurf led the way around the corner to the workshop of Brainy smurf ,there they could see Brainy smurf wheeling something massive out of the work shop that was covered by a big red blanket.

"Are you ready ....TADAAAA " Papa Smurf pulled the red blanket off to reveal...

"YIPEE" the crowd exploded into laughs and yells and they all clapped there hands furiously.

Then a silence fell and Nanny Smurf said "Are we all going to have to eat Mushroom now instead of smurfberries?"

Brainy smurf laughed and said" No No Nanny smurf this isn't just a mushroom its a space ship mushroom and we have found a moon way up there that has a forest where smurfberries grow everywhere and you can eat as many smilax leaves as you want!!"

"YIPPEEE , we are all saved" the crowd said at once.

Then Grouchy smurf announced "Hey I once took a trip on a mushroom before , I didn't like it I peed my smurf trousers and thought my arm was a blueberry and tried to eat myself."

"Hehehe , No its not one of those mushrooms" Brainy smurf giggled and winked at Grouchy.
Papa smurf clapped his hands "Silence everyone , So we are all leaving tomorrow for the forest moon of Endor to make a new home , so pack all your clothes and make a few smurf pies for the journey , we leave at 10 past smurf tomorrow."

At 10 past smurf the next day ,everyone was loaded aboard the space mushroom and by 5 to smurf they had arrived on the forest moon of Endor.

They all set to work chopping down trees and making a home for themselves,they worked hard and long until Nanny smurf announced "OK Smurfs and Smurfettes , time for smurf pies and a party!"

All the smurfs where so happy they built a fire and started the party. They sang and laughed and ate as many Smurfberries as they wanted. Brainy smurf felt pleased with himself, he had saved all the smurfs.

"You have done so smurfing well Brainy smurf" Grandpa smurf said slapping Brainy smurf on the back.

"Thank you Grandpa ...Holy smurf that trip on a mushroom was fun , and look at this forest Its wonderful, there's smurfberries everywhere we are going to be so hap ............ ARGHHHHH ......"Brainy smurf was interrupted by a spear hitting him square in the back, he fell to his knees then onto his face.

Little did the smurfs know that they had landed on the outskirts of Bright Tree Village an ewok stronghold and they had chopped down the most sacred tree to the ewoks the tree that all the Ewoks get there Chak from (ancient ewok medicine). Now the Ewoks where pissed off....

A hail of spears and stones rained down on the smurfs from every direction , there was smurf carnage all around. The smurfs started to throw smurfberries at the ewoks , which just pissed the ewoks off even more as the ewok word for the smufberry is the "shooshimk" which translates to the "shit berry" and to even touch ,let alone throw one is a insult the equivalent of shitting in an ewoks slippers in the morning.

Now the carnage intensified into an ewok frenzy , Grandpa smurf got hit by 3 spears and 2 arrows just in his butt alone.

The elder ewok screamed at his warriors "ayon puna foooky upy doodop ewok"which translates as "FUCK THEM LITTLE BLUE DUDES UP EWOK WARRIORS"

The ewoks where now swinging down on ropes to engage the smurfs face to face , smurf hats where flying everywhere . Little blue bodies where being carried off by the Ewoks .The frenzied Ewok assault lasted maybe 2 hours then there was a deathly silence only broken by the odd murmur of "Oh smurfing hell."
The moral of the story being never take a trip on a mushroom and throw shit berry's at an Ewok.

The End

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